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[29 Jan 2012|06:26pm] |
so. my father suggested i go to a shrink and it is probably the best thing i could do but it is fucking awful. i feel raw and flayed open every time i talk to the dude. it's supposed to help. i don't see how it does, yet. but i'm doing a lot of talking about my past, my mother and i guess thats the worst part. filling in someone on eighteen years of living with a druggie isn't pleasant. i try not to say too much to jon and alejo (my boyfriend...how awesome is that)...they get upset. why wouldn't they? yeah she didn't react well to most everything i did or said, but i was a pretty good fuck up. only a fuck up nearly burns down the apartment trying to make soup. hell, the other day i gave myself a fucking concussion falling of a chair because i was freaking out. i'm just that skilled.
but it's all about moving on now. and that's why i have to go to the shrink, right? to learn how to get past the well, past. easier said than done, but i am trying. worry about that, that people don't think i'm trying to be normal and light and not so heavy and tired all the time, but it is hard. but I try....that's all i can do, right?
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[29 Dec 2011|03:45am] |
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you know that part in the grinch when his heart is two sizes to small? since christmas, its been my chest is like six sizes to small and i cant draw in a full breath and when i can the air doesnt go where it should and my tongue keeps sticking to the roof of my mouth because it's drying out completely and it will shrivel up.
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![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) mbsc only |
[09 Nov 2011|02:44am] |
spam; anon; etc;
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[09 Nov 2011|02:41am] |
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( bio )
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